A few of you recently asked me about the blog and why I haven’t posted in over a month. I’ve tried several times to write a new post, but I never get past the initial, “so I haven’t written in a while…” Today, as I was driving around an area of the city I will soon call home, I realized why my blog and I are giving each other the silent treatment:
My summer has demanded a lot of internal exploration of self and a bit of life reorganization, if you will. It’s been a wonderful, selfish season so far, and I’m quite enjoying dating the city. (I mean that in a figurative way, Dad. I don’t actually mean I’m dating everyone in the city, as that’s entirely impractical.) But because I’ve been focused mostly on myself and “getting my life together” as Amanda put it on our summer to-do list, I haven’t had much to say about the world around me. (In fact, I’ve even had a lot of trouble speaking to the world around me. My friends have really enjoyed my incoherent sentences about dull activities that only tumble out of my mouth around attractive men. I mumble about laundry and grocery lists and the weather. I just can’t stop talking about the damn weather.)
What I’m trying to say here is that lately, I find it difficult to comment on the behaviors of others in any capacity beyond, “I wish Baltimore had a better driver’s education.” And that’s just true, not blog-worthy. On the other hand, I don’t want to bore you with any internal reflection that comes across as “woe is me” or even worse, “look how awesome I am” (although, I am in so many ways).
So instead of writing my typical this-happened-and-then-that-happened-and-this-is-what-I-think-of-those-things-blog, I thought some of you might like to see excerpts from other pieces I’ve been working on. (For those of you who aren’t interested in that kind of thing, I’ve sucked you in this far so you might as well just go with it.)
Last semester I found myself sitting on planes quite often. I don’t mean this in a figurative way like I rediscovered my soul or anything of that nature. Nor do I mean to imply that I was sleep-traveling (although, how neat would that be?). I simply mean to say that I traveled a lot via airplane during the months of November and December. (I suppose I could have just said it that way to begin with, but I didn’t want to. Deal with it.)
I wouldn’t say I was a “frequent flyer,” but I would tell anyone who’d listen that I could get through security—shoes off, coat off, scarf off, giraffe necklace off, change out of pocket, laptop out of bag, liquids in a clear quart-sized Ziploc, boarding pass out, small talk with security guard, shoes back on, scarf and coat in hand to put on later, giraffe necklace thrown in bag with laptop and liquids, change forgotten in plastic bin—in under two minutes. This is, of course, if I was among other non-novices. If a first time flyer was anywhere in front of me, all bets were off.
For months, I have tried to write a successful first blog. I first tried to write witty pieces, but their second and third drafts produced material that can only be described as lacking. In other versions I confessed that I had no idea what I was doing, but begged my reader to trust me anyway because, ignorant or not, I intended to blog well. (That draft was promptly discarded. After all, who ever heard of being honest with your audience? Laughable.) Desperate drafts recounted stories like the time I watched a grandmother eat her grandson’s chili in silence at theBarnes and Noble Starbucks café while he played with her iPhone. Still, others tried to incorporate all these elements, failing as miserably as if it hadn’t incorporated any at all. As a compulsive perfectionist (a possibly hypochondriacal condition), these failed attempts and continued lack of blog, troubled me greatly.
Then, one night, as I gazed up at an overcast sky that was anything but inspiring, a solution came to me: change the rules. Ignoring the basic principles of syntax, I decided to create my second blog first. This would take all the pressure off the first, perfect blog, while simultaneously making any reader a returning reader. That’s right; I’ve instantly created michellejunot.com blog groupies. Welcome.