All My Pets are Dead

Lost Dog: Days of September

Day 271

LeeLoo, the family dog, is missing. Well actually, she’s not the family’s dog. She’s your brother’s dog, but she’s been your brother’s dog for about 11 years now. So really, if we’re all being honest, your weird, furry sister is missing for three days now.

You feel the familiar feelings of dead and unretreivable pets. You feel the familiar feelings of being so very far away and unable to contribute anything meaningful besides a few encouraging texts and lies of “I’m sure she’s fine, having the time of her life!” You feel the familiar feelings of God telling you that you are so not in control. Of anything.

But ultimately, this isn’t really about you. It’s about you’re brother. And his dog. And the way the world feels like an upturned snow globe today.

Tranlsation: Twenty-five is briefly living upside down with fake snow pouring down and then back up around you before you can ever get your footing. (Oh, it’s also living in a hard plastic dome that you don’t see until you bang your head into it. So, you know, be careful.)

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Out of Context: A Collection of Excerpts

A few of you recently asked me about the blog and why I haven’t posted in over a month. I’ve tried several times to write a new post, but I never get past the initial, “so I haven’t written in a while…” Today, as I was driving around an area of the city I will soon call home, I realized why my blog and I are giving each other the silent treatment:

My summer has demanded a lot of internal exploration of self and a bit of life reorganization, if you will. It’s been a wonderful, selfish season so far, and I’m quite enjoying dating the city. (I mean that in a figurative way, Dad. I don’t actually mean I’m dating everyone in the city, as that’s entirely impractical.) But because I’ve been focused mostly on myself and “getting my life together” as Amanda put it on our summer to-do list, I haven’t had much to say about the world around me. (In fact, I’ve even had a lot of trouble speaking to the world around me. My friends have really enjoyed my incoherent sentences about dull activities that only tumble out of my mouth around attractive men. I mumble about laundry and grocery lists and the weather. I just can’t stop talking about the damn weather.)

What I’m trying to say here is that lately, I find it difficult to comment on the behaviors of others in any capacity beyond, “I wish Baltimore had a better driver’s education.” And that’s just true, not blog-worthy. On the other hand, I don’t want to bore you with any internal reflection that comes across as “woe is me” or even worse, “look how awesome I am” (although, I am in so many ways).

So instead of writing my typical this-happened-and-then-that-happened-and-this-is-what-I-think-of-those-things-blog, I thought some of you might like to see excerpts from other pieces I’ve been working on. (For those of you who aren’t interested in that kind of thing, I’ve sucked you in this far so you might as well just go with it.)

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