And so, as I mark this back and forth, back and forward, 2017 recap and movement into 2018, I invite you to stalk me on Instagram if you want to know the details of my personal life. I have no doubt that the awkward amount of cat videos, and photos of cocktails and coffee will answer all your questions. Special bonus—there are gross pictures of my double-its-normal-size eye today that prompted a fun ER trip yesterday. (That I might actually write about.)
Coffee Shops
Day 252: August 20
You failed.
You set out to learn something new each day of your twenty-fifth year, recording the details for the world to know (even though no one asked for this information), and you didn’t do it. Well, I should say, you didn’t record the details as you promised, it’s clear, even if only to you, that you’ve done the learning part.
But you failed to report it. To name it. To translate it into a takeable, buzzfeed-like list. And this bothers you. You think you can still do it. You think that this failure somehow matters to a larger audience. You’re thinking, yes, but…
Yes, but I can still piece it together.
Yes, but I can look at my instagram, my twitter, my facebook, and my email.
Yes, but I can get the details together. I can finish this project. I can catch up on over 200 days of living and learning and wrap it all up in the next 100.
Yes, but why?
Seriously, Dude. What’s your deal here? What is it you’re really learning from the day-to-day operations of your quiet, albeit lovely, life that the world needs to know?
In August 2011, I moved to Baltimore to the general astonishment (and in some cases, horror) of my […]
Dear Lexington Market
Thank you for being closed on Sundays and eliminating 98% of all walking traffic. I love being able to pull out of my parking garage and not chance hitting five non-crosswalk-using people.
With all the sincerity a letter like this can hold,
Your Across the Street Neighbor
***
Dear Girl Repeatedly Pulling Instead of Pushing Starbucks’ Glass Doors,
It broke my heart a little when you said, “How do I get out of here!” and everyone looked up at you. There’s no judgment here, but maybe you want to brush up on your problem-solving skills?
Don’t worry, no one laughed when you left, because we’ve all been there.
I May have Laughed a Little,
Girl in the Back Corner Who Dropped All Her Stuff After You Left
***
Dear Attractive Man Running Down Charles St. with No Shoes on Your Feet,
I see you aren’t against a good running outfit, but you don’t seem to see the benefit in clothing your feet. Based on this evidence alone, I can only assume you’re from Southern Louisiana too, and you realize that some things are more fun barefoot…
Mais Couillon, I understand dat but ya can’t be runnin down de Charles St. wit no shoes, non. Dat glass is gonna get ya feet, cher.
Get you some shoes, Cher, an keep wearin dem cute shorts,
Single Southern Girl with Glass-in-Foot Experience
P.S. How’s ya mom and dem?