Category Archive: People Watching

Found Poetry in Unlikely Places

From the Post Office Line
February 5, 2013

Woman wearing sunglasses—indoors—and tights covered in palm trees
with a heavy-looking brown coat with fur trim

People in front of me talking Algorithms, and
someone else wearing an Amelia Earhart hat

1, 2, 3, 15 people in line

The woman behind the desk shouts: “anyone just dropping stuff off?”
and those who nod yes are directed to the front

I wish they’d scream, “anyone budgeted their time poorly?”

Person after person who clearly hasn’t rehearsed
his speech and request as I have make it to the front of the desk

Stamps. Tax refunds. Confusion.

Continue reading →

There’s Always Money in the Flea Market (Except When There Isn’t)

I have this friend—we’ll call her Amanda (because that’s her name). Amanda and I have been compiling a list of things we ought to do in Baltimore this summer:

  • Maryland Crabs
  • Quality Time with My New Apartment & Pool
  • Actually Move Me into My New Apartment (check)
  • Try Raw Oysters (check)
  • Paint Amanda’s Apartment
  • Sushi Dates (check)
  • Wedding Crashing
  • Movies on the Pier (did not go as planned…sorry Amanda)
  • Woodberry Kitchen
  • Fleet Week (check although I’m scarred for life thanks to Martha, Amanda, and Ian)
  • Pirate Ship Party
  • Fells Point Ghost Tours
  • Dress as Cows and Get Free Chick-fil-a (missed opportunity)
  • Run a 5k
  • New York
  • Orioles Games
  • Date an Oriole
  • Washington, DC
  • Adventures. Lots and lots of adventures. (in-progress)
  • Massages
  • Re-learn German (Amanda) and French (Me)
  • Steak Night
  • Make Pottery
  • Get Through Summer School (big check!)
  • Artscape (slightly disappointing, but complete nonetheless)
  • Get Our Lives Together (in-progress)

This isn’t our complete list, but I think you’ve got a feel for our summer goals. And it’s important that you understand our goals and a bit about us, because I’m about to use this people-watching blog to give you a glimpse of a Saturday in July.

Continue reading →

Letters to Strangers and Other Objects

Dear Lexington Market

Thank you for being closed on Sundays and eliminating 98% of all walking traffic. I love being able to pull out of my parking garage and not chance hitting five non-crosswalk-using people.

With all the sincerity a letter like this can hold,

Your Across the Street Neighbor

***

Dear Girl Repeatedly Pulling Instead of Pushing Starbucks’ Glass Doors,

It broke my heart a little when you said, “How do I get out of here!” and everyone looked up at you. There’s no judgment here, but maybe you want to brush up on your problem-solving skills?

Don’t worry, no one laughed when you left, because we’ve all been there.

I May have Laughed a Little,

Girl in the Back Corner Who Dropped All Her Stuff After You Left

***

Dear Attractive Man Running Down Charles St. with No Shoes on Your Feet,

I see you aren’t against a good running outfit, but you don’t seem to see the benefit in clothing your feet. Based on this evidence alone, I can only assume you’re from Southern Louisiana too, and you realize that some things are more fun barefoot…

Mais Couillon, I understand dat but ya can’t be runnin down de Charles St. wit no shoes, non. Dat glass is gonna get ya feet, cher.

Get you some shoes, Cher, an keep wearin dem cute shorts,

Single Southern Girl with Glass-in-Foot Experience

P.S. How’s ya mom and dem?

Continue reading →

Delayed Observations

My flight was delayed in November.

It happens. Especially in November. And December, too. And then there’re the summer months because everyone’s going on vacation. Oh, and holiday weekends cause a bit of trouble as well. There’s the occasional weather delay—if not here, it’s where you’re headed. And who hasn’t experienced the “there’s something wrong with the plane” delay. (That’s my favorite actually. Except I don’t like when we end up leaving on that same plane.)

Continue reading →

Pictures that Could Use a Thousand Words (Or Even Five Would be Good)

Remember when I half-promised-sorta that I was going to post several blogs about my air travels in one week. That was cute, wasn’t it? Two weeks later…One of my favorite parts of any plane experience, is the safety instructions. It’s fun to see the first time flyers trying to remember everything. You can almost hear their frantic eyes saying, “Wait. What do I do in the unlikely event of a water landing? Should I be taking notes? Why is everyone so calm?” Then there’s the frequent flyers who rarely even quiet their conversations to “turn their attention to the flight attendant who has some important safety instructions for them.”

Continue reading →

Observations from a Table for Two

I’m at Starbucks near the harbor—close enough to mention, far enough to park for free—and I’m supposed to be writing about a past, flawed relationship. But facing my own naivety doesn’t seem near as fun as people watching, so I choose the latter.

Small groups of people are scattered around the patio, swapping life’s disappointments or the promise of the upcoming weekend, and I sit alone at a table for two.

An older, red Honda pulls into the parking space in front with the unmistakable crunch of bumper hitting concrete. There’s a collective gasp and the chatter momentarily stops. Mouths hang ajar as they watch the car reverse slowly, producing a scrape rather than a crunch this time.

When the older gentleman (maybe 60) steps out of the car, he smirks at the onlookers and I turn away. I’m embarrassed for him, although he seems relatively unaffected. The patio crowd continues to point at the car and talk about the event, even after he walks inside. They’re acting as though he rolled over a box of kittens, their blood giving his car its audacious color. He crunched his bumper. It happens.

Continue reading →