I have this friend—we’ll call her Amanda (because that’s her name). Amanda and I have been compiling a list of things we ought to do in Baltimore this summer:

  • Maryland Crabs
  • Quality Time with My New Apartment & Pool
  • Actually Move Me into My New Apartment (check)
  • Try Raw Oysters (check)
  • Paint Amanda’s Apartment
  • Sushi Dates (check)
  • Wedding Crashing
  • Movies on the Pier (did not go as planned…sorry Amanda)
  • Woodberry Kitchen
  • Fleet Week (check although I’m scarred for life thanks to Martha, Amanda, and Ian)
  • Pirate Ship Party
  • Fells Point Ghost Tours
  • Dress as Cows and Get Free Chick-fil-a (missed opportunity)
  • Run a 5k
  • New York
  • Orioles Games
  • Date an Oriole
  • Washington, DC
  • Adventures. Lots and lots of adventures. (in-progress)
  • Massages
  • Re-learn German (Amanda) and French (Me)
  • Steak Night
  • Make Pottery
  • Get Through Summer School (big check!)
  • Artscape (slightly disappointing, but complete nonetheless)
  • Get Our Lives Together (in-progress)

This isn’t our complete list, but I think you’ve got a feel for our summer goals. And it’s important that you understand our goals and a bit about us, because I’m about to use this people-watching blog to give you a glimpse of a Saturday in July.

Dear Lexington Market

Thank you for being closed on Sundays and eliminating 98% of all walking traffic. I love being able to pull out of my parking garage and not chance hitting five non-crosswalk-using people.

With all the sincerity a letter like this can hold,

Your Across the Street Neighbor

***

Dear Girl Repeatedly Pulling Instead of Pushing Starbucks’ Glass Doors,

It broke my heart a little when you said, “How do I get out of here!” and everyone looked up at you. There’s no judgment here, but maybe you want to brush up on your problem-solving skills?

Don’t worry, no one laughed when you left, because we’ve all been there.

I May have Laughed a Little,

Girl in the Back Corner Who Dropped All Her Stuff After You Left

***

Dear Attractive Man Running Down Charles St. with No Shoes on Your Feet,

I see you aren’t against a good running outfit, but you don’t seem to see the benefit in clothing your feet. Based on this evidence alone, I can only assume you’re from Southern Louisiana too, and you realize that some things are more fun barefoot…

Mais Couillon, I understand dat but ya can’t be runnin down de Charles St. wit no shoes, non. Dat glass is gonna get ya feet, cher.

Get you some shoes, Cher, an keep wearin dem cute shorts,

Single Southern Girl with Glass-in-Foot Experience

P.S. How’s ya mom and dem?

My flight was delayed in November.

It happens. Especially in November. And December, too. And then there’re the summer months because everyone’s going on vacation. Oh, and holiday weekends cause a bit of trouble as well. There’s the occasional weather delay—if not here, it’s where you’re headed. And who hasn’t experienced the “there’s something wrong with the plane” delay. (That’s my favorite actually. Except I don’t like when we end up leaving on that same plane.)