LeeLoo, the family dog, is missing. Well actually, she’s not the family’s dog. She’s your brother’s dog, but she’s been your brother’s dog for about 11 years now. So really, if we’re all being honest, your weird, furry sister is missing for three days now.
You feel the familiar feelings of dead and unretreivable pets. You feel the familiar feelings of being so very far away and unable to contribute anything meaningful besides a few encouraging texts and lies of “I’m sure she’s fine, having the time of her life!” You feel the familiar feelings of God telling you that you are so not in control. Of anything.
But ultimately, this isn’t really about you. It’s about you’re brother. And his dog. And the way the world feels like an upturned snow globe today.
Tranlsation: Twenty-five is briefly living upside down with fake snow pouring down and then back up around you before you can ever get your footing. (Oh, it’s also living in a hard plastic dome that you don’t see until you bang your head into it. So, you know, be careful.)
Day 36: January 16
You slept terribly last night, bad dreams, waking up every few hours, sheets in tangles. But, this is actually normal for you. So really, you slept normally last night.
And hey, dude, what’s the deal with your iPhone clutched in your hand? You always sleep like that?
Check it out. You wrote a sleep-note at 3am about a dream you had last night. Must have been something real important that you didn’t want to forget:
At the Barnes and Noble:
There was a public bathroom that, instead of an enclosed stall, contained just a toilet in an open glass room. Then entire store could see into it. There was a single sign posted with directions for properly using the bathroom that said, “PULL UP PANTS QUICKLY!” [so no one gets a good look at your naked parts]
Unfortunately, as is often the case for me, I struggled to get my jeans over my butt. I had to kind of wiggle myself into them. It was a slow process. When I turned around to find the non-existent sink, I saw a guy smirking at me through the glass. He was just standing there, watching me like a creep.
As someone who really enjoys their quiet, internal time, I can assure you that I do not make these new airplane-friends on purpose. I think I must just have a face that says, “Tell me your life story beginning with your most traumatic memory, because I’ll listen.”